Thursday, March 06, 2003

Watty's in reflective mood:

If you care to look back through the archives (I'm not saying you should, but if you should happen to be passing that way...) you'll discover that I started doing this a year ago today. I remember the trigger for it well enough, but I don't really know what I thought it would achieve. I just put some of my words out there for anyone who cared to look, and 12 months on, I'm still sort of doing it.

It has definitely been therapeutic for me - writing is one of the best ways I know to help me get my head round my head, if you follow me; writing in here has helped me work out how I'm really feeling about things on several occasions. It's also allowed me to complete some bits of writing I wouldn't have done otherwise; the Musical Memories project was great fun to write, but in hindsight I think I tired myself out a little, and I've never really got back into the swing of doing this regularly again. The Depression Index idea kind of fizzled out; I couldn't keep coming up with new ways of saying the same thing. Also, there's no doubt that I do this when I'm in a depression, and I really haven't been recently - people have even noticed that I've been more cheerful, which is good. Then I came to the conclusion that it was intruding on the lives of others a bit too much, and that I needed to make it more a place to put things I wanted to write down and less of a diary. And I'm more than aware that it's never been a weblog, however much I may have tried to make it look like one.

All of which leads to absolutely no conclusion whatsoever. I'm still here, I feel better about myself than I did a year ago (there's another significant anniversary coming up in a few days which may have an influence on that); I like doing bits of random writing, and for those reasons if no other, I shall continue to come here and post things. I can't tell if there will be devastating insights or chunks of orphaned fiction, or reviews of concerts, or more nostalgic ramblings, or something else altogether which I haven't thought of yet.

Or mabe it will turn into a weblog. You never know. In any event, Happy Birthday ...if you must; and thank you for reading this far.

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